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Ginintuang Butil na Payo

Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang…


1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga Leche
kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."


2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay:
"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa uniform, magdasal ka na!"


3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC:
"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."


4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC:
"Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng
sine."


5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY:
"Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!"


6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM:
"Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!"


7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng STAMINA:
"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!"


8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER:
"Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid… parang dinaanan ng bagyo!"


9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito."


10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!"


11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS:
"Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!"


12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng
ENVY:
"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?"


13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION:
"Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!"


14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING:
"Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!"


15. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang "Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, huwag na huwag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!"


16. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE:
"Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak...tiyak magiging katulad mo at
magiging sakit din sa ulo!"

Women As Explained by Engineers

Baguio CHiPs

Do you remember the old TV series called CHiPs (California Highway Patrol starring Erik Estrada)? Well, this is Baguio City's version of that.

FACTS

My high school batch mate sent me this funny email. I just wanted to share it with you guys.

“If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(Oh my God!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy… I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm……)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy
facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a
chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone !
(and God, love that pig!!!)”

Funny Signages - Only In The Philippines

Have fun viewing these signages (from different places around the country) captured on camera.